Me, Mary J, and my Ex(es) –
BEDA Day 24 of 31
So, today, is just a sharing day. I needed to get that out. I am for real going through it in my head. Its crazy how that was so hard to say on video. But… I can already feel my fingers punching away feeling free to share.
I’m a better written communicator than verbal. I WILL say what I have to verbally. But its just easier for me to do it with words.
Yea, I woke up and was just confused a bit. not even confused, just frustrated. I’m so appreciative of the reception I received from my last post about my photoshoot. Y’all feed me with so much love and energy. Its definitely not taken for granted. Specifically because sometimes being a black same gender lovin man is in many ways the complete inverse of what I deal with in many other aspects of my life. I think I kind of mention some of this here and here.
In many ways the successes and wins that I experience here in the more visible aspects of my life are kind of like my body’s own dampening device, served to protect me from the traumas and just ridiculousness that comes with being anywhere within the LGBT community. I woke up this morning feeling just that yo. I woke up fresh off the consistent love that y’all show me and couldn’t help but wonder why I was dealing with a mending my heart from a run in with this fool at the same time.
I just wanna thank y’all for being welcoming to my journey. I’m hopeful that it inspires you to do that thing you’ve always wanted to do. My share-ing today, is meant to show you that everything isn’t perfect on this end. I’m always worried people will think that. Its a challenging for me too. But at the end of the say we HAVE to move forward. And while I absolutely don’t understand why I can’t have that person by my side that I felt so comfortable and strong with. I also know that there’s absolutely nothing I would have done with him that I can’t do on my own.
It’s the mosquito bite that you feel, and now is there. But you’re just waitin for the irritation to go away so you can go on about your day.
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BEDA = Blog Every Day in August