Second time around is a whole lot easier
It seems like its been forever since I’ve even thought I’ve had the time to write something for the site. This school year has been crazy, and yet somehow I’ve managed to be a lot more calm and get more sleep than I did last year. Off the top of my head I’ve managed 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night, which is 2 to 3 hours more than I got on average last year. Instead of stressing and staying up into the wee hours in the morning prepping lessons, thinking about IEP’s, and going over grad school work. I’ve been getting sleep first, and then fitting in time for all that other stuff second.
I don’t want it to seem like I’m not stressed, or “on” as much as I was before. In reality I’m on more than last year. I think I’ve just realized how to manage my time better during the school day and afterwards. Funny enough I remember NYC Teaching Fellows staff and coaches mentioning last year that we needed to prioritize sleep. Back then I never imagined that would be possible. But, this year, it’s become an implicit priority of mine. It doesn’t matter how much I’m behind, or have things to do… when I’m tired, I go to bed. Its such a wonderful feeling.
The school year is just short of being 1/3 of the way done – and I would say that I’ve definitely kept my cool under all of the pressures that have been coming my way. I’ve been taking situations as they happen, as opposed to allowing the randomness of the education system frustrate and confuse me into a panic. My mind is still working overtime, but I would say it’s actually been shutting down a bit too early for my taste. Over the past 2 months I’ve struggled with creating my vision for my teaching and work in education. Last year, as a new teacher I was able to focus on the teacher I wanted to become. Whereas this year I’ve just been acting, with far less thought put into my actions. I’m assuming its due to the fact that I’m not a rookie teacher anymore persay, so my mind is focusing on different and equally important matters.
This actually worries me a bit. Before I came to NYC I promised myself that I would continue to push each step of the way to ensure that I grew into the best possible educator that I could. But here at the beginning of my second year I don’t feel as challenged as I did last year. Things just seem too easy. Or better yet I just seem too instinctual right now. I already know I’m not really conveying the amount of work and thought that goes into each day as a teacher, and we can’t forget a grad student – which is part of why it’s been a awhile since I’ve posted. I mean I feel like I’m working more and trying to produce higher quality everything, both as a teacher and a student. But just like Vegeta up top, the challenges I’m faced with have come and gone and haven’t phased me as much as I feel they should. Maybe its backwards logic, but, it worries me. People may question why that’s an issue… Detectable stress and challenges are what I feel I need to measure my growth by.
As a result, I’ve decided to upload a recent assignment to help shine some light on why the relative ease at which I’m working has me uneasy with my place right now.
You can find the post here: Personal Inquiry – Interests and Preferences