It physically hurts to come back from a 4-day weekend.

One of the things I know is that I have a very specific frame at which I engage the world. This includes my work as a teacher, student, friend, brother, son, etc… Basically the way I view life, and in particular my life, and the standards and rules I ethics I choose to live my life by. I worry that sometimes I’m so tuned in to my own frequency that I’m missing something out there that other people see, feel, or think. Β Because of that, I find myself feeling uneasy a lot of times – like this time, right here. Wondering, if there is something that perhaps I’m not seeing that really needs my attention.

I’m more so thinking about at my high school. There just always seems to be so many questions that I don’t have the faintest clue to ask. Its actually pretty annoying and it pisses me off when I don’t automatically know something.

I think I’m going to ask my co-teachers if there is anything else they feel I can be doing to support and lead in the classroom.

Wait, I actually just thought of something. I’m going to make a deal with my Just Words class this cycle. (I don’t know if I’ve explained this yet. But my school is run on trimesters. Each trimester is referred to as a cycle.) Something like, the more they engage, and show involvement in the curriculum, the faster we can go – The faster we can go, the more time we’ll have for games, and activities. Maybe eventually a project or field trip. I don’t think I could handle the stress of that this first try though.

I think my class really rocks with me. They’re behavior is on point… Like… literally no disruptions ever LoL. But lets face it half of them are tuned out. Or at least don’t participate in the vocal parts of the curriculum. I’m going to cut off that back row, no more sitting back there. And I’m gonna scoop Jenga in a few days so they can have something fun (hopefully) while I catch the others up on their assessments. I HAVE TOΒ figure out how to work better with that curriculum. Its seems like 90 different materials, half of which the students don’t have. So I have to make copies. Which is crazy because sometimes they want you to copy like 10 page chunks just so the kids can review. That curriculum is ridiculous. And you have me delivering it so you know its a complete fool.

That poor class. I feel so bad for them. They have to put up with me, a looney 1st-year teacher, destroying this reading curriculum that may well be their last chance to learn how to read. I think they rock with me because they know I care about helping them read, and I’m there to do as good of a job I can for them and for me!

—————–

Today, I had to apologize to my Just Words class. Somehow I had forgotten to take their heavy ass manual home with me over the weekend. I was really upset with myself when it hit me.Β I told them that I fully meant to prepare for class this weekend, and was upset with myself when I realized I had forgotten their manual. I would do my best to get through todays lesson, and give them free time. We ended class with me doing a Plus/Delta session. Plus, whats going well. Delta, what’s not going well. Needless to say I wasn’t shocked that I put all the positives and they put all the negatives. Besides the candy I brought, they put that as their only positive.

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